All cultures have different expectations and customs and meanings that they attach to gift-giving. For example, Norwegians refuse an offered gift twice and only accept on the third offer. The Chinese always hand the gift package to someone else with both hands as a sign of respect. Filipino adults usually give the all the kids at any party a little bit of cash.
But there is something universal about gift-giving: gifts are never just gifts. People always want to accomplish something with their gift. They may want a return gift at some point, or to build a social relationship, or to make your life better in some other way. Gift-givers expect some kind of response. And if you don’t respond in any way at all, you’re still sending a message—that you don’t really care about that relationship.
Grace is God’s gift to us through the Christ-child of Bethlehem. But how should we respond? Does God’s gift require that we give him something back? Or that we build a relationship? Yes! But first let’s get two misunderstandings out of the way.
Some people go wrong by flipping the gift-reciprocation model backwards. They think that God’s gift is a response to something that we have done first. That is, we have earned God’s grace by our repentance or by accepting Jesus or by our good works. But then God’s grace wouldn’t be a gift at all, but an obligation on his part. And it would mean we’re pulling the strings, making God act in response to us.
Others go wrong by thinking that a Thank You is a sufficient response to God’s gift. We teach our kids to say Thank You when they are given a gift—but that’s a beginner response to receiving a gift, that’s kids’ level. We certainly should say Thank You to God for his gift, but that’s not enough.
God has given us this amazing thing that we don’t deserve, and he wants to accomplish something with that gift. He wants to change us with that gift. When we receive it, it activates something in us. Since we’ve been given this grace, “Therefore,” St. Paul says, “as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12). That’s how we honor the one who has given us the gift.
Grace is an attitude in the mind of God that he has toward us on the basis of Christ’s redemptive work. On account of that attitude, God declares us innocent of all sin. That is the great gift of Christmas. Our response of love and obedience is a consequence, not a condition, of his grace—but it is a necessary response. And what’s more amazing than the first gift of grace is that even our response is another gift of God. The additional gift of God’s own Spirit living in us moves us to respond in love.
Christ’s work, God’s grace, and the Spirit’s power are gifts all the way down. Merry Christmas!